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Dem sticks an' stones

...ok, this has happened enough now that I'll say this...

I don't typically respond to people approaching me with sarcasm or making snarky comments to me because... #1 - we all have a motivation for all of our actions #2 - the ostensible motivation for that type of baiting behavior when commenting on someone else's commentary or opinion is to belittle their position, but what you do by extension is belittle them #3 - you may not be aware of the insult (read: pain) you cause folks (no matter how"well-meaning you feel you were) when you approach people you don't know well with sarcasm ... And in our culture, admitting someone 'hurt' you, past the age of 10, is considered weak and childish. So, folks don't admit it. Instead, they then lash out in response. #4 - almost everyone dislikes the feeling of having sarcasm leveled at them (even children, especially children) #5 - I don't play my game from the defense, and responding to someone after being insulted (not matter how subtly or 'innocently' it was delivered) is where that puts you #6 - sarcasm does not make you seem smarter or 'above it all'... It actually shows that you're ignorant of your own vast ignorance #7 - whenever possible, be kind, and it's always possible to be kind (a person much wiser than I, the Dalai Lama)

And, this is also why I refrain from sarcasm in debating/discussions with people I don't know well. If I know you, we probably are clued into each other's social cues and we know, generally, how far the other can go before feeling hurt.

Since when did 'adulting' mean disconnecting from your feelings? That 'sticks and stones' thing is bullshit. It's something we tell kids to get them to stop bothering us with their feelings, you know, the ones we're busy suppressing. You absolutely can/do hurt others with what words represent in the mind of the listener. We have been brainwashed by too many sitcoms and reality shows. And, late-night talk shows are hosted by comedians... comedians get paid to be sarcastic. You can present an alternative point of view without being an ass about it. There are no laugh tracks backing you up in real life, dude. No one applauds you being cynical and sarcastic in real life, particularly with strangers or folks you know little about. Do yourself a favor: Grow some... heart, that is. That is all. #ImWithCivility #WhateverHappenedToDiplomacy? #AdultsHaveFeelingsToo #AndIfYouThinkFeelingsShouldJustBeGottenOverIHaveAGreatTherapistForYou #InflictingPainMeansThereIsPainAlreadyThere #BlessYourHeart

#manners #civility #adults #feelings

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