to be Loved
...as much as I've been told over & over & over the virtue, value, & even necessity of loving others, it took me decades to realize the value, immense benefits, and absolute necessity of loving myself. Truly loving myself. Unconditionally loving myself: for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness & in health, from this life into all of the others & beyond.
As deeply as I've felt love for others, no one ever told me I was supposed to feel that way about me. So, I tried it. And, it took quite a while to undo the conditioning. But, I've begun a new relationship with me...
And, I'm forever changed.
The love I thought I was capable of before has magnified a billion-fold because I will never again sacrifice my connection with my inner-Being, Highest Self, that eternal part of me that is beyond accurate description for anyone, anything, any circumstance...ever. It's never worth it. No one told me this. As a matter of fact, they told me the opposite. Sacrifice, give, extend yourself for others, no matter the cost. I've found the fallacy in this. I've lived the fallacy in this. Contrarily, I've learned that if I am not in a state of love with me, I don't have anything to give (not really). It is out of this love and wholeness that we truly give.
When All of me is present, then & only then can I be of service, assistance, joy, or upliftment to another in any real or lasting way. It was a long time coming, but everything that has brought me to the decision & given me the strength & resolve to love me - all of me, with no conditions - was worth it (though I don't necessarily recommend it... There are easier routes.)
And, if I slip, it's ok, because I'll recognize it this time around. I know now how to get back to the love that is me, because I'm practicing. Like a master artist, I'm honing my skill at knowing when I am aligned with that which is eternal in me and when I am not. So, I'll get better at this as I continue to grow and learn, and that's the good news.
Now, I feel I can love freely, wholly, deeply no matter the surrounding conditions without demand or even need for reciprocation. I can love across galaxies & across all time and circumstance.
Funny thing; I've always been here. That Me that is in everything, that Is in You, was here loving me unconditionally this whole time, through all kinds of weather: whether I knew it or not, whether I accepted it or not, whether I fought it or not, whether I doubted it or not. Loving me enough to allow me the freedom to choose experiences that brought me to this realization.
And, this is only the beginning...